Ode to proper procedure.

I read this story somewhere. Maugham maybe? An eighty-year old spinster looks under her bed every night, making sure that nobody is hiding in the dark, ready to attack her in her sleep. One day, she discovers a man hiding there!

Today I feel just like that old bird. For a decade, I have instructed clients to take the 5th, and have obtained non-prosecution letters from the DA, every time adultery is an issue. Proper procedure or waste of time and money, I wondered, doing my obligatory check for the villain under the bed. What do you know -- New York is prosecuting a woman caught having sex in the park with a gentleman friend. Turns out, she is married -- and not to the gentleman friend. It is all true -- including the reported 90 days in jail or $500 fine. If only they have thought to secure a non-prosecution letter.

Divorce Attorneys -- When should You Get One?

It is a popular belief among couples on the brink of divorce that the very act of engaging an attorney increases acrimony and hatred. That is a logical fallacy. First of all, acrimony and hatred is only created when your spouse becomes aware that the counsel has been retained. Banging the door to punctuate your yelp “You will hear from my lawyer” is a tactic quite different from that of tacitly stopping by the office of your friendly divorce attorney, while your spouse believes that you are occupied by a game of bridge at the club. Second, and even more importantly, there are many instances in which receiving consultation about the state of the law will help you learn that the offer your spouse just made is as good as it gets. Surrender your position rapidly and gracefully. Avoid the fight, restore peace and encourage your spouse to believe you are a sweetheart, if not a pushover. Just hope your spouse does not seek legal counsel, and discover that he is not getting quite the good seal he thinks. Then quick have a separation agreement drafted.